SoOoOo….we all have late night thoughts that keep us up at times. Tonight, I had one of those. I was staying up to write a paper, and I just felt like I needed to blog first.
This is a little more personal than I thought I would get on here, but I just felt that God was leading me to write and share about this…… I hope you guys enjoy! I will have a Makeup look posted later today!
I think every individual that has someone in their life that inspires them to be great. Whether that person is a family member, a coach, Sunday School teacher, or even a celebrity. This person may come into your life and completely turn your world upside down upon arrival, or it may take a tragic and extremely sad series of events in which this person can impact your life. This person for me is my mother.
Here we go…we are going to get deep real quick.
My mother was an incredible woman. She was independent, strong, intelligent, beautiful, kind, funny, witty, assertive, passionate, driven, and never took no for an answer. She made sure that my siblings and I had these values. Whatever she did, it would always turn into gold. My mom would work long days at times, but she loved what she did and that was when she was the best mother she could possibly be. It was when she was fulfilled and doing what she loved.
While she was excelling in corporate America, she was also fighting with her inner deamons and fighting a disease that affects millions of Americans and their families. My mom was an alcoholic and unfortunately, is the reason for her beautiful life for being cut short at 54 years old.
February 22, 2015 was the day that my mother was called home to be with Jesus. And I don’t think, no matter how much you think you can emotionally ‘prepare’ for that moment to come, no child is ready to see their parent be lowered down to their final resting place. In the months that have now passed, I have found ways of coping. They haven’t been alcohol, drugs, or in an unhealthy relationship.
I found my happy with makeup.
Yep. I said it. Makeup
Prior to my mom passing, I was going through my college years and planning my future based upon these ideas that I thought my family had expected of me. I went into college expecting that when I graduate, I will go into corporate America and have an amazing career. Over the next four years, I realized that is not me. I switched my major about 5 times and changed my life plan about 8 or 9. I was living my life to make everyone else around me happy and proud.
Once my mom passed away, my world stopped and I had to remember how to live my life. I took the semester off from classes and just to focus on myself. What I turned to was makeup. On the days that I physically could not get out of bed, I would spend the day watching YouTube videos. When I had a few hours to kill, I would sit in front of my mirror and try new ways of implementing some of the things I watched on my videos.
I’ve realized ever since starting this blog, makeup is my passion. Makeup is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I have started telling my family that I want to pursue cosmetology and becoming a makeup artist for TV/Film, and I have never felt happier. I am finally living out my truth and it feels incredible. I am not worried about disappointing anyone, because it is my life and I choose my path.
Obviously, there is not a day in which I don’t wish I could wrap my arms around my mom and tell her about the amazing things I have planned for my life. I would love to do her makeup for my blog, or have her help me with advertising my postings. All that I can do is work my butt off to let my mom shine through. My mother is the reason why I am doing this blog. She is my motivation and my reason to give my all. She instilled passion, drive, and the desire to always be the most successful I can be inside of my soul, and I know that I can do anything with her and God’s help.
I encourage those who are struggling to live their truth, to take whatever steps you feel are needed to help you live your life in the most authentic way possible. Also, if you are a child/family member/spouse/friend of an alcoholic and need someone to talk to, I HIGHLY recommend an Al-Anon meeting! Or if you just want to shoot me a private email to just talk, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org